He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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