saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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