there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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