ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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