I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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