If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's never too late to be topless.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize