Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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