Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
