I just made out with a guy for $7.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
