I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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