Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
