Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize