I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
4 words: hood of his car
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
