So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
