Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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