go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize