she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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