I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
