I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
