can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
