I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
