Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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