i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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