just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
