I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize