New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
