is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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