If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
