just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This is my gift to your gina
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
