I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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