Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
