we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
