STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
