Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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