I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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