hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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