beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
