Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
