i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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