Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
