you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize