i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
