his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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