So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just google imaged poop.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
