then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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