lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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