i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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