My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
