"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
