I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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