He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
