I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
