No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
