um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
