id be glad to
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
