Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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