I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
