He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
