so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
