why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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